I was only a passenger today...

but it was just as awful as usual.  

Tight spaces and Taxi drivers

Most streets are really tight here.  Crosswalks, bus lanes, bike lanes, parked cars, single lane streets with kerbs on both sides, people stopping cars and pulling up on sidewalks(evidently common and appropriate).  It's fun.  It must be really intimidating for people that have F-ing grown up here and driven for years.  Totally understandable.  

My home is surrounded by tight ones.  One that I take daily on the way to work is pretty tight.  Barely enough room to get 2 cars passing each other in-between the parked cars at an uncomfortable level, but doable.  Most of the time you can't see anything before you turn down these streets so it's essentially like playing Russian roulette.  

This morning I turn the corner and just say fuck it and keep going despite 3 cars coming towards me(which I couldn't see until I had pulled the trigger).  No biggie.  There was plenty of room and I stayed dangerously close to the parked cars on the left.  The three amigos continued coming as well until the first guy stops just as we pass each other.  Next thing I hear is a loud honk.  Not sure if it was for me or the dumbass stopping so I'm gonna let this slide and assume it was for the dumbass.  There was at least less than a foot on each side of him so pretty unnecessary.  At least another driver got to experience the wonderful joy of idiocy.  

Surprisingly, the rest of my drive was uneventful.  To the point that I knew the drive home would be awful to make up for the total lack of shit in the AM.  To my surprise, the evening drive home was equally uneventful... until I get about 3 blocks from my house.  

Then the taxi shows up.  This guy was a total Munson.  Not only did he decide that he needed to drive half of the speed limit.  He also decided that he needed to stop completely at every yield and wait at least 3 seconds before moving from a stop light.  I understand you're trying to make extra money from that meter, but come on fuckstick.  Don't be a douche to everybody in the city.  

I was so outraged that my drive home had been completely ruined that I pushed my horn even though I knew it was broken.  That's when I discovered that it had started working again!  So I let him have it.  No effect.  Typical.  

Say it in a Jerry Seinfeld voice

What is with these drivers?  I cannot believe this.  It is like some of them purposely try to make you miss traffic lights or get royally screwed at traffic circles.  This seemed to be a theme today.  Fuck the guy behind you.  My favorite was the guy who slowed down before the hill causing me to lose all momentum then accelerated on the uphill.  I would say it was an isolated incident, but there were 4 other cars staggered in the 2 lanes doing the same shit.  Un-f-ing real.  

WTF?

I am glad that gas prices in the UK are high.  Most of these people do not deserve to drive.  45 in a 60 mph zone in clear weather.  20 in a 40 in clear weather.  Holy fucking shit fucks!  This has got to stop.  Luckily my horn decided to stop working while I was behind this guy because it could have gotten ugly.  I now have a small "boom box" to listen to music so I was able to drown out this guy's incompetence with some, always soothing, oldies.  

Learn to yield bitches!

Uneventful drive to work after getting out of Cambridge.  3 blocks from my house I was appalled at how at a left turn lane with a yield sign nearly all traffic fails to yield.  This causes serious jams in the middle of an intersection resulting in missing multiple cycles of a light.  So bad to the point that no traffic moves from any direction except these dumb shits that cannot yield.  They likely would give the typical, "Oh, terribly sorry, didn't see that _____" response that most Brits seem to give when they try to play off a deliberate act to violate some law or rule.  

What can be done about inconsiderate parking...

So Sunday night some dickhead, calling him a dickhead now because he becomes one later, parked right in-front of my garage.  I usually tolerate this on Sundays as families visit for dinner and I don't drive Sunday evenings.  Since I'm a nice guy I don't try to find out whose car it is.   

Enter the most snow here in the UK since 1991.  Chaos....  This dickhead does not move his car.  Now my garage is blocked because of this which means I cannot drive anywhere.  By anywhere, I mean work.  I also cannot get out to look at a possible vehicle to purchase.  Now comes the bureaucracy.  

After searching the Cambridge City Council site, I've decided that this spot appears to be the type that can only be enforced by the police and not by the regular traffic wardens.  Attempting to call the Parking Enforcement tele number was unsuccessful so I emailed them.  

This is a total pain in the ass.  I really wanted to experience UK drivers in the snow.  :'(

First Post

This blog is going to be updated daily on the bullshit that I experience while driving in the UK.   Get ready.